Breakups suck, there is no doubt about it. And while we wish every breakup that ever takes place would end on good terms, that simply isn’t the case. Whether it is a fight, cheating or other negative things, some relationships end on awful terms.
Trying to get your life on track after a particularly messy breakup can also be daunting, and it can take a while for things to feel normal or good again. However, it doesn’t always have to be this way, and there are some things you can and should do after a messy breakup. This article is going to look at a few tips to help life return to normal after a bad breakup.
Expect Mood Fluctuations
Dealing with a breakup of any kind is tough and dealing with a bad one is uncharted territory for many people. As a result, we are often hit with a ton of anxiety and other thoughts, moods or feelings that we aren’t used to. You will have days where you feel great and feel you are back to normal, only to go back to feeling like garbage the following day. And unfortunately, this can be random and there is often no rhyme or reason to how you might feel.
You need to understand this is normal, and you are not going crazy. There is no right or wrong time to feel better or “over” an old relationship. It can be a few weeks for some people, and a few months for others. The important thing is to work on improving yourself and expect to feel different on different days, and if you struggle, reach out to friends and family for help.
Do Not Criticize, But Understand
When you get dumped in a bad breakup, it can feel like your world is crashing down, especially if it caught you off guard. As a result, it can be very common to get mad at the person who dumped you, and/or criticize their decision. However, the more you do this compared to trying to understand their decision, the worse off you will be.
See, there is always a reason for a breakup, and while it might not always be said or completely obvious, there is always a reason. Therefore, it is unfair to criticize someone for breaking up with you, as that is completely their right. Instead, try and understand why they did it and what wasn’t working in the relationship that eventually led to its demise. This will help give you closure, while also help you become a better person going forward.
Try To Reconcile, If You Are Both Open to the Idea
While the relationship is over and may never start back up again, there is no reason why you and your ex can’t reconcile and end on friendly terms, instead of harboring a ton of animosity towards one another. Seeking reconciliation after a breakup can be a good way to get closure in a situation where you wouldn’t have gotten it otherwise.
Of course, only do this if both parties are ready. You cannot force someone to meet with you and “make up”. So if you ask them if they’d like to meet and talk things over to get true closure, and they deny the request, you need to respect their wishes.
In conclusion, getting back to normal after a bad breakup is never an easy thing. However, if you give yourself time to heal, along with following some of the tips and methods included in this article, you could find yourself more able to deal with the struggle of a bad breakup.