June 2005


Consider yourself warmly welcomed to the ninth installment of OFF REGISTER, America's only rock 'n' roll comic book column!

IN THIS ISH: Hockey Night in comicsland • Are you ready for some comics? • Mike Hoffman gets censored • Jim Steranko returns… sorta • YOW! Iggy meets Little Lulu • YOW! Lovecraft meets Little C'thulu • Tales from the Reich • Demonizing the King • Hush hush, sweet reprints • A public service announcement • Jim Flora's hepster jazzbo album covers • Alice Cooper explains it all for you


HOCKEY NIGHT IN COMICSLAND: NHL lockout got you down? Well, ice that puck because Lord Stanley's mug, the Stanley Cup, makes a special guest appearance in issue 220 of The Flash. I kid you not.

ARE YOU READY FOR SOME COMICS: Also appearing in this month's issue of Superman's Girlfriend Lois Lane: the XFL Championship Trophy. I kid you.

MIKE HOFFMAN: Artist and musician Mike Hoffman took the time to write in and comment on recent editions of OFF REGISTER. I was going to print his letter here, but CREEM's libel lawyers have advised otherwise on the grounds that Mike's opinions are too incendiary in nature. In fact, the only part I was allowed to print were Mike's opening 56 words:

"I am currently convinced that every time I open my trap about anything I get into trouble. I have a fondness for comics also, but most modern stuff leaves me cold. I have a theory at present about the decline of real creativity in our civilization; when this happens, the destroyers ascend. These people should be—"

At this point CREEM's shysters had so thoroughly expunged the rest of Mike's massive missive that even a request filed under the Freedom Of Information Act yielded no results. So we're hoping that The Most Outspoken Man In Comics will write in again, albeit in a decidedly less litigious way. Which should give you enough time to go out and buy an asbestos monitor, just in case he does.

JIM STERANKO: The jaunty one—who up until now hadn't made a substantial public appearance since the publication of 2002 signed limited edition gallery catalogue Steranko: Arte Noir—is back. Well, kinda. In The Comics Journal 265 he puts pen to paper to relate the truly horrific story of venerable (and, as it turns out, vulnerable) witzend publisher Bill Pearson, whose house and entire lifetime collection of comic ephemera was completely destroyed in a five alarm file. As a collector, you owe it to yourself to grab a copy and read this heartrending story because it could happen to you anywhere at any time. As Steranko states: "The collector's nightmare is always the same. Fire and flood. The enemies of paper."

And speaking of paper: drawn anything recently, Jim? Yeah, I know you're not into drawing comics anymore and that you'd rather hang out with your wife on the porch of your southern mansion, sipping a mint julep and watching the sun set on the cotton fields, but still: Tick tock, tick tock…

LITTLE LULU: Because man does not live on high art alone, it's always good to remember that sometimes the best comics are those that are, well, comical. Which brings us to one of the all time comedic classics, Marge's Little Lulu. Now before you bust a gut laughing in derision, you'd best get off your high horse and pay attention. Those of you know-it-alls who slaver at the altar of Iggy Pop have no right turning up your nose at Lulu because it was in the pages of Little Lulu comic that the first Iggy appeared to strike terror in everybody's heart.

And if you don't recall the stubble-pated Iggy I'm referring to, then you'd better thank your lucky stars that Dark Horse has begun publishing a series of trade paperbacks that reprint the late '40s exploits of Iggy, Lulu and Tubby. And let's not forget the irrepressible Alvin, who was stirring more hornet's nests that David Seville's manic maniac chipmunk could ever hope to in a month of Sundays.

If you want to read the world's first hell raising rock 'n' roll comic book, go and read Little Lulu, as cleverly crafted by John Stanley (story and layouts) and Irving Tripp (finished art). I read these stories decades before the first Stooges album came out, and I gotta tell ya that nothing on either Funhouse or Raw Power ever stuck with me as much as the traumatic haunting image of Little Lulu's Iggy yelling over and over again: "You look like a human goat!" Y'hadda be there—and for only a lousy ten spot, now you can. Jif peanut butter not included.

LITTLE C'LULU: Y'all remember that DC graphic novel about H.P. Lovecraft I told you about two months ago? Well, sickmeister supreme Pete Von Sholly also takes a shot at the Lovecraft mythos in Morbid, his recent full color fumetti collage book for Dark Horse. Don't let the title fool you, this is a retrofitted Photoshop pastiche of all those classic '50s monster melodramas like War Of The Colossal Beast, all done in nuclear Fiesta Ware Day Glo colors. So where does Little C'lulu fit in, you ask? Why, on the shelf right next to C'arl Barks' Uncle C'thooge. You'll see.

TALES FROM THE REICH: Speaking of sick, it's probably the most putrid parody you'll ever read. Not since the heyday of Michael O'Donohugh's National Lampoon at its most vile has such a scabrous satire seen print, and that's definitely saying something in this 'anything goes' era. Written by Tomb Of Dracula and Blade creator Marv Wolfman and illustrated by Joe Staton—both of whom now have rooms waiting for them in Motel Hell as a result—"Heil And Fear Well" takes the concept of satirizing the EC comics line to the kind of tasteless Nth degree that old Doc Wertham saw only in his worst nightmares.

So if you've ever wondered what it would be like to read an EC comic about how Nazi mass murderer Josef Mengele distilled Hitler's brain into a soul-preserving syringe, then look no further than Dark Horse's Michael Chabon Presents The Amazing Adventures Of The Escapist Volume 2. Uh, that'd be the same Michael Chabon who won the Pulitzer Prize for literature. Better make that three rooms. Somewhere, Bill Gaines is rolling over.

DEMONIZING THE KING: And so is Jack Kirby. Why? Because John Bryne is back, and this time he's taking a nik-nak-shabby-whack at the Demon, which was one of the King Kirby's least-used Fourth World characters. Well, now it's one the King's most misused characters as well. Soaked in gouts of gratuitous gore—the Demon graphically slaws off someone's entire face with his teeth and eats it raw with a noisy "Smack… Smack… Gulp"—the first few issues of Blood Of The Demon are as diametrically opposed to the heroic class and grandeur of Jack Kirby as you can possibly get.

There isn't anything about this book, right down to the cockeyed panel layouts, that doesn't grate against the grain of everything that Jack Kirby stood for. In fact, this book is so bad I'm going to be merciful for once and not even tell you who publishes it, just in case you own stock in their parent company. Suffice it to say that Bryne's Blood Of The Demon makes Kirby's ill-advised ham-fisted run on Superman's Pal Jimmy Olsen look like Esteban Maroto's nouveau-elegant Dax The Warrior. Where's dashin' Don Heck when we really need him?

HUSH HUSH: Wanna call me a crass spandex-snorter? Be my guest. Think I should shamefully file this one under Guilty Pleasures? Hey, go ahead. But if you missed it the first time out and can't afford the expensive back issues, it's my gushing fanboy duty to let you know that some time ago DC reprinted the entire 12 issue Batman: Hush series in two affordable volumes. And to all you elitist snobs who are slouched in the back row rolling yer eyeballs into the back of your heads, I say sit up and pay attention, willya? Y'might learn a few things about why some of us still selectively read superhero comics that don't have an Eisner epigram attached to them.

Anyway, Hush is drawn by the same Jim Lee who started out at Image years ago as the creator of Deathblow. Back then, he got viciously taken to task for shamelessly aping Sin City's bleached-out over-exposed look but, mercifully, those clunky days are long gone. Sure, Lee's architectural line work on Hush will never be mistaken for high art but, as far as eye candy goes, his illustrations are a fun visual treat in the way that Michael Turner's aren't—especially Lee's vertiginous cityscapes, some of which are worth the price of admission alone. And those of you still read the word balloons that accompany the purdy pictures will also enjoy Jeph Loeb's script. Just make sure your lips don't move.

And speaking of overt fun and games, you may remember that back in the first two OFF REGISTER columns I touted the relative merits of Howard Chaykin's Mighty Love and the psycho-revisionist Superman saga It's A Bird… Well, both DC graphic novels are now out in affordable paperback editions—which means that if you were too much of a cheapskate penny pinching skinflint to pick them up the first time around, you're plumb out of excuses this time around.

A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: We now return you the sanctimonious high-brow section of this column.

JIM FLORA: Not that I ever spent time lying awake in bed at night wondering where cartoonist JD King got his wacky angular style from… but now I know.

The late Jim Flora forged a seminal career out of creating radically hep jazz album covers for Columbia and RCA in the '50s, and his long-lost landmark work is now on rapturous permanent display in Irwin Chusid's large format collection The Mischievous Art Of Jim Flora.

Whether he was doing album covers for Louis Armstrong or Buddy Rich, Flora threw caution to the wind and crafted exquisite LP sleeves that were far more than just a visual be-bop interpretation of the music he was literally covering. With a jag-angular line awash in a swirling pandemonius riot of color, Flora created the essential epitome of cool in an era when artwork reigned supreme and—some babe-blessed covers notwithstanding—the very idea of using a photograph on a phonograph jazz jacket was, more often than not, a profane thought.

Then came the insidious creeping encroachment of rock 'n' roll with its pretty boy singers and suddenly Flora was out of a job. So he did what any self-respecting hep jazzbo album cover artist would do: he began illustrating children's books instead. His is a story well worth reading and especially worth looking at. You can thank the preeminent visual historians at Fantagraphics for this one.

ALICE COOPER: Speaking of which, novelist Neil Gaiman, the author of DC's Sandman series, gets an oral gothography of sorts in Fantagraphics' recent tome with the spun out title Hanging Out With The Dream King: Conversations With Neil Gaiman And His Collaborators.

Along with the standard interview testimonials from the usual suspects like Dave McKean and Michael Zulli, there are a number of surprises to be had, most notably the inclusion of everyone's favorite horror hero, Alice Cooper. Indeed, even as you read these words, Alice is currently on tour across Europe and North America performing his new album Dirty Diamonds.

What you might not know, however, is that Alice and Neil Gaiman teamed up a few years ago to create Dark Horse's graphic novel adaptation of Alice's record The Last Temptation. Asked in his interview segment if that album had marked a turning point in his music, Alice cogently replies:

"It was a little sophisticated for the audience. I admit that. But, again, my audience was getting a little bit older. I think the kids didn't really connect with it. And the kids are always looking for their own identity anyway, so they're going to connect with Kurt Cobain more than they will with Alice Cooper. Even though they are going to have to deal with Alice Cooper long after Kurt Cobain, because Alice is still going to be here. At one point, they're going to have to deal with Alice Cooper because he's just not going to go away. And there's too much back catalogue for them to ever ignore him later on. So I just kind of let the generations go by and go by, and then pretty soon they all get around to Alice Cooper."

Amen.