Mötley Crüe
Red, White & Crüe
Island/UME


Do you remember when Mötley Crüe were the kings of the superfluous umlaut bands? Sure, Spïnal Täp, Blue Öyster Cult and Hüsker Dü were better, but the Crüe were bigger. No band rocked the umlaut harder, and no character on the keyboard is more badass. I mean, come on, what else is there? Ø? Ç? Ñ? Typographically, there's no denying that Mötley Crüe rules supreme.

Do you remember? Well I remember! And now we have a new two-CD retrospective, Red, White & Crüe, that's a better memory aid than ginko biloba. It's all there—the low-rent Satanism, the soft-core misogyny, the glorification of antisocial behavior. And when it works, it's entertaining as all hell.

Speaking of Spïnal Täp, it was David St. Hubbins who said "It's such a fine line between clever and stupid." And the Crüe dances on both sides of that line. The first disc is almost note-perfect, with the exception of the too-frequent power ballads in the second half. When it came out, Too Fast For Love was surprising—almost as good as Kiss! That album launched a million cowbell jokes and is well represented, as is the equally ferocious follow-up Shout at the Devil.

The first disc takes the band through the spotty Theatre of Pain and Girls Girls Girls to the return to excellence on Dr. Feelgood. It really ends, like the band's relevance, with the '80s.

Disc two is less thrilling. Do you remember how Mötley Crüe started really sucking right around the time they decided it would be cool to release a version of the Sex Pistols' "Anarchy in the UK?" That was a lamentable selection because it didn't really clear up the Crüe's position on Thatcherism. Remember John Corabi? There are four tracks from his stint as singer. Remember how exciting it was to have the Crüe back the first time circa Generation Swine? Remember how Nikki's temper and Tommy's schlong spoiled that?

Let's be frank, Red, White & Crüe reads like it was pulled together so the band has some new merch to sell on the upcoming tour. It's brilliant when you think of it. With three new songs, the band has turned what would have been a mediocre EP into a sure-fire big seller. In interviews, members have called the current reunion "rushed" and attributed it to "greed." Vince Neil has been on every reality show known to man, and Tommy Lee has his own reality show coming up (where he becomes a Cornhusker? Yikes!). But somehow even the band's low points are entertaining.

Given all that, it seems likely that we'll all be sick of these guys again in a year from now. But every few years, it's good to Täp into our collective Mötley Crüe-ness. And all cynicism aside, Red, White & Crüe does kick much ass and might be the only Crüe record you'll ever need.