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| "I feel pretty, oh so pretty, so pretty, witty and... and I pitty any girl that isn't me today... That's not how the song goes." |
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"I got a TV, you got a TV... Oh fuck it... I wanna fuck some shit up, I'm fucking IGGY!" |
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Upon being emphatically assured brother Jack's wish to shill for CREEM had been summarily denied, Kelly Osborne grudgingly hoists her first Boy Howdy. She later pledged White Stripes' Meg, the newest member of the Dysfunctional Sisters Of Jack Sorority. |
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Shhhh—don't worry, Kelly, we won't tell anybody that you enjoy the fine taste of Boy Howdy! In fact, we're honored. A fine piece of jailbait like you deserves only the best things life has to offer. So you drink up, and we'll shut up, just like you told us to...
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"Oh my God, I have to peeeeee!" Golden State? How about Golden Shower? You bastards, let Andy in!"
Much to the chagrin of many of the performers at Coachella, festival organizers forgot to leave sanitation magnate Andy Gump the appropriate all-access credentials. |
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"I'll show that CREEM editor who called us "Sonic Middle Age" a thing or two, this solo is designed to wreak havoc on hearing aides!"
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| "It’s Fucking IGGY!... Where are you? Stand up! I wanna hear you… I wanna see you... Let's hear the news! You there… With the glasses, I want you!... I've wanted to do this for years!" |
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"Andy, where you be?! Huevos and frijoles are a lot harder on my Scandanavian constitution than lutefisk!" |
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| "Who needs Tommy Chong's Bongs when you've got Boy Howdy?" (It's never long before a bong-worthy can of that is empty). |
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| "Jesus!? This is Damon. I see fucking Iggy—Christ he’s beautiful!" |
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| Upon discovering the pronounced roar his guitar is capable of making when its pick-ups are employed, a newly-confident Alex dons the requisite rock star shades and toys with the idea of tackling his effects pedals… 18 minutes later, covering "Hocus Pocus" Alex second guesses the sagacity of the selection, even for such a confirmed devotee of classic Dutch Rock! |
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After searching the Internet relentlessly to find his true identity, the new guy decides being a member in Blur could be the best place to hide from the magistrate. "So, I shall continue to display wanton disregard for these murderous humbuckers..." |
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The Cure’s Robert Smith stood in for an M.I.A. Jack White (last seen pitching tents with Nikki Corvette) His goal? To turn some comely lasses into his "sister."
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Isn’t it a little bit early for post-post-modern performance art rockers to be drinking the free beer? Well, we’ll give these Mummenschanz convention-goers some slack. After all, nothing better than Boy Howdy! for getting the jizz out of one’s wig!
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 Showing mere howler Pelle Almqvist how it's done, Primal Scream's Bobby Gilispie unleashes the sort of unholy yowl that would make John Lennon and Dr. Janov proud. "I too, am Fucking IGGY!"
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 Motor City legends, one made and one in the making. "…It’s little, it’s red and it’s oh so fast!"
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Photos by Sheryl Stevoff, Robert Matheu & Heather Allegrina
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